Me, Myself and my Paper

Image taken from the internet.

So much is going on in my mind,
but can't even say a single word.
I look fine outside but are troubled inside.
Tell me I'm not alone feeling this way.

I'm afraid of that Man above,
but I keep on hurting Him,
doing things  I shouldn't do.
When evil desires play games,I can't resist.
I  didn't know I'm this weak.
Welcome to my own addiction again.
But I'll feel bad then apologize
but still playing then losing on the same game again.

All these I can only say on this empty paper.
As soon as I hold my pen I let go all my emotions
and I just can't help but write.
When I try to run away from God
 it's just me, my pen and my paper.
When I feel bad, so ashamed of what I've done
 it's just me, my pen and my paper.
When I feel like God stop listening to me
I just break down and cry,
staring at myself, my pen and my paper.

I'm so stubborn. I wonder when will I truly learn?
How high a flame should be for a weak iron like me
to be strong and sharp enough to win a battle.
Funny what human can do in pursuit of happiness.
But Lord, You're merciful, kind,caring
and You don't lose your temper easily.
And that You don't like to punish.
Lord,change Your heart and mind and treat me w/ mercy.