I'M TIRED

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How many times I've been on this same road?
Why it seems I'm still unsure where I'm going?
Tell me Lord if you are still there in the end of this road.
Or if you're with me in this journey.
You save me but why am I still a slave of my emotions?

They say that I should surrender to you.
That I should live with full of positivity
I wish to do that is so easy.
Will they ever know how it feels
unless they're wearing same shoes I'm wearing.



Honestly, if I cry my heart out to you Lord now
I'll say 'I'm tired of living.Seem like I'm still the same
old brand new me. I'm tired of being stubborn.
Seems like I can't change.
See, I'm still learning things I ought to know by now.
I'm sick of being lonely. Nobody seem to care on me.
I'm tired to put on a smile when my heart is breaking inside.
Tired of trying to be kind when all I get are unkindness.
Tired of trying to speak. Nobody seem to listen and understand.
I'm tired of blaming You Lord.
Tired of asking why is it this and why is it that?
Asking for forgiveness when I still do same mistakes.
I'm such a fool.
Tired of believing  that I'll learn to truly love You.
Tired of feeling so sick and weary.
Aren't you tired of me yet?
Why I still have my own demons within me?



Lord, You're the God of all hopes.
But you're a God and I am not.
Though you created us humans higher than all your creations,
you know well our weaknesses.
I'm sick of seeing all my flaws.
How can I not compare myself to your other daughters?
Do you love them more because I'm not as good as them?
I feel like I'm the black sheep of your family?
You came to heal the sick  but why is there a voice behind me
shoutin' I'm condemned of healing?
Do I listen more to the evil's voice than yours?

Is this the price of being unfaithful and disobedient to you?
Gold is tested by fire  but why others learn to love you easily?
Are you ashamed of me because I'm too shy
that I can't praise you with my arms lifting high,
That I'm afraid to tell others about you and your kindness
because I don't know how to.
Don't you listen to me because I don't know how to pray?
Are you disappointed in me
because I'm full of fears when all you give us is a brave heart.


I've never felt the desire to end my own life.
Who am I to do that?
I'll be missing the greatest things that could happen in me.
But there comes this time that I just wanna vanish
because I can't stand the pain.

You know how many times I feel like I'm Judas.
I feel sorry for not having a thankful heart.
Will you take my free will?
What should I do with that when you already know
I'll only choose my selfish desires.
Defeat me with your love, kindness and mercy
rather than being defeated by your enemy.
You already celebrated victory over him.

A turtle moves too slow in land but too fast in water
because that is where it belongs.
Just like it put me where I should be
so I may use what you've given me.
I don't wanna face you one day
returning the same amount of coins
you've entrusted me.