MAMMA MIA!

    

     Wondering why I name this such? There's a mother's day activity in our office and that is to write a letter, article, poem or make a photo collage for your mother.I think of writing this for my mama. While I was thinking of the tittle I came up with the idea of getting it from her favorite singers. The top two on my list are the Carpenters and ABBA. In no certain reason I chose the latter.Suddenly their song Mamma Mia starts playing in my mind and because it has a word 'Mamma' I think it would be a nice title. All of us or maybe most of us would really consider our moms as the best mother in the world. But we have what we called "ideal mother". For some my mama could be an ideal one or she could be not.  She is just like most of the typical mothers you may know.

     She was the oldest among the siblings of eight children. My lolo [grandfather] died when she was still a teen. As the oldest she has to work for the family to help my lola [granny] in raising the other children. My mom reached sixth grade but wasn't able to graduate. Like the other folks in the province she tried her luck in cities like Cebu and Manila hoping to find a job for better living. She had worked as a housemaid and as a yaya [nanny] until she got married. When I was still a kid maybe around 6 or 7 years old she worked as a factory worker , sewing sacs. She also worked  in a canned goods company though just for a little while. That was way back we're still in Valenzuela. I'd like to reminisce here some of the happy and sad moments I have with her. Let me start with the happy ones. I remember she would often brought me "pasalubong" [ homecoming gift] as she got home from work. Most of the time she would brought me Hi-ro biscuits and chocolate cakes. Those are my cravings even up to now. I was fond of staying late at  night watching TV while waiting for her to come home.

     One of the memories that would first popped out from my mind were those days she would play this 90s dance song in the karaoke then me and my sister would start dancing. I only remember one step of our dance routine though. She is also fond of singing. I remember growing up one of our hobbies on our leisure time was singing along with karaoke or videoke- those VHS years. That actually made me realize that the saying "Practice makes perfect" may not apply in all aspects in life. That if it's not really for you then you can't have it. I've been frustratingly singing since I was a kid but why my voice is still crap and I still sing out of tune! Well,maybe because it requires someone that has the talent and skill on it so they could tell you the do's and don'ts in singing. I even told her before that she should have let me joined in different singing contests but she would just laugh at me. Well,maybe if she did she would be the most embarrassed mom in the world.

     Growing up I heard her sing songs of The Beatles, Lionel Richie, The Cascades and etc. She don't have the talent in singing but she can sing "better" than me,I guess. If there's a crazy thing my mother know about me is that my used to be "obsession" for the boy band a1 specially to its member Ben Adams since I was a kid until I reached College. She even learned some a1 songs because I used to always sing their songs. She told me before that somehow my tune is less dissonant when I'm singing their songs or songs of the same genre. I started signing up on random SNS account when I was still in College only because of Ben. Even when I was already working I'm still checking his twitter page. One time I mentioned him in one of my tweets and he retweeted it.Then finally, after waiting for a decade  I met the band last 2012.At last I was able to shake hands with them specially with Ben. I even called my mama from time to time about my crazy experience with other a1 fanatics that time. I told her that I used to think I was the only one acting fool and weird for them but those fans I was with are crazier than I.I was acting like a crazy teenager while I was talking to her over the phone. Dream come true for an obsessed fan. But after that the obsession has gone. By the way I forgot to mention that she likes Mark.

     My mom is very lenient. I remember she used to let us kneel on mung beans or rock salt when me and my sister were being stubborn. She would even locked us on the bathroom if we won't stop wailing. But she's not really scaring the hell out of us compared to our father. Since I was a kid,because my papa was working,it's always her present on important school activities like graduation,recognition, field trip and much more. No wonder growing up I'm more comfortable around  her instead of my father.

     Now that's where my bad memories come up. Since I'm not scared of her I tend to retaliate if I thought I'm right. Maybe most of us came to that part when we're younger we felt like we're right and our parents are not. I know one of my weaknesses is my temper and it's really annoying me when I'm being accused of doing wrong or ruining something when in fact I was doing otherwise. That would make me really mad and for me to let go of the madness I used to break or throw things I'm holding at that itme. If there's none then I'll pick one I know I can break. But if I wanna throw it I don't throw it to the person but to the wall or to any space around the place.

     When I and my best friend would talk we're also opening up how we behave at home. And it's somehow relieving to know that I'm not the only one feeling bad or ashamed for being "maldita" (damned)  or "topakin" (hot tempered) in the house because my besty feels the same way too. We always said that are moms are the only one (aside from God) who can understand our weaknesses.

     I started truly appreciating my mama more when she was hit by a motorcycle while boarding off a public vehicle a couple of years ago. I just woke up when my cousin told me that she was in the hospital because of an accident. Now here I was thinking of those gross kind of accidents I'm seeing on news or crime scene dramas I start crying like a kid. But my cousin then told me that she's already fine. That happened when I was just few months here in Manila after I graduated. I used to think that I have fully accepted the fact that time will really come that I'll lose my mom and dad or they will lose either me or my sister. But I haven't totally feel the fear by just thinking about it or accepting it as part of life. Truly, we'll only know how it feels when we're already in the situation. That's when I started feeling sorry for those times I made her cry. Unlike any other daughters out there I'm not the showy type.I always feel comfortable showing to someone how I care by what I do for them.Maybe I wasn't a disruptive daughter in a way of being a delinquent youth, spending more time hanging out with friends or colleagues while smoking cigarettes, drinking liquors, taking illegal drugs and by going outrageous in school before but still I was a stubborn daughter in a different way. I'm always saying to myself that I don't have the right to judge those who are doing such things because aside that I don' t really know what they're going through I myself have my own demons in me.

     Meanwhile,let me also share some of my funny moments with her or about her that I just can't stop to giggle whenever I remember it. One time,we were watching a variety show on TV and the hosts have a joke about 3D cinemas. She suddenly said something which I wonder how it was related to the joke. I then realized she was thinking of the appliances with brand name 3D.I really burst out laughing while explaining to her what is 3D cinemas. One instance also I browsed  her phone and I saw many selfie photos of her. I felt defeated because I don't  even have one on my phone since I'm not fond of it. I then told her that she's like a teenager in taking those selfies.

  One of the things I really like about my mama or the kind of value she have is her perseverance and just like any other mother her sacrifices for her family. My father used to be a drunkard and growing up we faced many financial problems along the way but she didn't give up. I know she'd cried many times because of my father but she stay still. She didn't buy the idea of giving up and leaving him behind rather she accepted his weaknesses. Some woman might have filed an annulment or just choose to leave. Well,the former is expensive though. And when it comes to sacrifices,I admire even some of her little sacrifices for us. Like when it comes to food. Whenever I'll buy snacks for us two, since I eat too fast and her too slow, I end up craving for more. I'm not asking her to give me her food but she would just give it to me. After eating the half she'll then give the rest.I'd like to include here one time I told her that if she have something she dislikes about my attitude then she should understand and accept that because for sure I inherited it from her or from papa.She would then told me "Kung kahibaw ka na di maayo ayaw na sunduga.Buhata kung unsa ang maayo." [If you already know that it's not good then don't do the same thing.Do what is good.] I then said to myself that she got the point.I can make a difference by choosing what is right and what is good.

     Now when it comes to skills or abilities I admire the fact that she can open and husk off  a coconut using the "itak" (machete),of course,not her teeth or mouth as what you might think. Well,I know some women knows how to do that specially those living in the province. I said some because I'm one of those who can't and will never do that. I have tried telling her to teach me how to do so but I guess I better not do it because my clumsiness always drags me to "disaster". Yes, I might be able to open a coconut but I no longer have a hand after that.

     One of the things I'm  thankful about her is she's supportive to things I love doing like when it comes to writing stories. She knows that I'm dreaming to be a scriptwriter. She'd always encourage me to write. She would even encourage me to just keep on writing whenever I'm losing hope because I feel like every effort I'll do  always end up in rejection and  me feeling rejected. And since she also knows that I'd like to make documentaries she'd even suggest places as a subject of the docu .I remember she suggested to me before to document the "buga-buga" hills. They said that's where Yamashita hid when the Japanese soldiers arrived in Leyte during the World War II. I'm not sure if that's true but what I read is  "... Japanese soldiers came to these mountains of Villaba to counter-attack and likewise to defend themselves." [source: http://www.tourisminthephilippines.com]. But I won't show interest because history is not my thing. Her support is one of the reasons I started this simple blog. As what most writers and I think all of them suggest doing so is one of the many ways to hone your writing skills or abilities.

      Just last 2011 I watched the  Mamma Mia musical  International tour here in Manila. If only I have enough money that time I would have let her go here so we could watch it together. What I just did is to buy her a Mamma Mia movie VCD  and a Mamma Mia Musical special edition CD .I'd say one of the things I got from her personality is being fond of musicians or let's say when it comes to entertainment. She used to like The Beatles and I used to like a1 who's also a British band. It's like I'm the new generation of her. She used to tell me that when I was a baby I'd stop crying then fell asleep whenever she plays "Obladi Oblada". That was my lullaby. In short,we're both "frustrated singer wannabe" and I know where not alone. But unlike her she can play a bit of guitar while I cannot. I also remember she had brought me to malls just to watch the taping of Pera o Bayong and Cristy per minute.

      As a mother she'd sacrifice a lot. What I'm always praying to the Lord is to give her and  also my father good health and strength not just physically but also emotionally and spiritually. I know there are things that I don't like about her but true love is accepting a person for who she really is.It's not by accident that she's my mother. God planned her to be so and God's plan is always better. She's the BEST for simply being who she is as a mother. Just like what a song says "Cause you're amazing just the way you are". I like to end this with few lines from the song of BoyzIIMen called A Song for Mama :

" You're always there for me. Have always been around for me even when I was bad. You showed me right from my wrong and you took up for me when everyone was downin' me. You always did understand.

You gave me strength to go on .There was so many times  looking back when I was so afraid and then you come to me and say, I can face anything and no one else can do...

....Mama you're the queen of my heart. Your love is like tears from the stars. Mama I just want you to know lovin' you is like food to my soul.” :D

P.S Happy mother’s day to all mothers and those who are mother like. ♥♥♥